RECORD #1 From the Desk of Aurus

Ever since I discovered how to synthesize Cosmoflow, the money has been coming nonstop. Everything I ask for, I am granted. It's hard not to let this sort of power get to my head. The King himself came to visit the other day to test out the new Hydropotions. If something had gone wrong and I was responsible for our king growing tentacles or a second head...

Instead, he said the taste was "refreshing" and that he felt slightly more energetic than he had before. Then he patted me on the shoulder. I'm embarrassed to admit it made me blush. But if this new power can lead to a better life for our people, I can handle a little discomfort. ...If they try to interview me for the paper again, though, I'm turning them down. (Written on the corner of the page is a letter in bright red: "Q")